21
Feb
09

The only thing the IRS has not Taxed

The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it’s in the hole.It has two dependents, but they’re nuts.

Effective January 1, 2000, penises will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10”-12” Luxury Tax
8”-10” Pole Tax
5”-8” Privilege Tax
4”-5” Nuisance Tax

Males exceeding 12” must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4” is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Issues still under consideration are as follows:
Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

(original)

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1 Response to “The only thing the IRS has not Taxed”


  1. 1 Alan Scott
    26 February 2009 at 19:05

    This may not be the right category for this comment but, here goes. This is based on an opinion column in the Wall St. Journal by Karl Rove. I read a lot and am not above stealing and repeating the thoughts of those more accomplished than myself. Entitled ” Obama’s Straw Men”, as I read it I am sorry to say I was not familiar with the straw men term. Wikipedia defines it “A straw man argument is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent’s position.”

    I’ve always been amazed how the man blatantly lies in his speeches and is praised for it. Now finally some one has laid bare one of Barak Obama’s speaking techniques. There is something to be said for a Harvard education. Mr. Rove calls straw men a ” lazy rhetorical device”. The first example Rove cites is from Obama’s Tuesday night speech “I reject the view that,,,says government has no role in laying the foundation for our common prosperity”. Rove points out that Republicans in Congress think that tax cuts, fiscal restraint, and good government monetary policies help prosperity.

    Karl Rove then quotes the President “regulations were gutted for the sake of a quick profit at the expense of a healthy market”. Mr. Rove asks what specific regulations and by what parties. Mr. Rove says that Larry Summers, presently an Obama adviser, then Bill Clinton’s Treasury Secretary in 1999, got rid of regulations stopping banks from owning insurance companies.

    The article is too long for me to go much further, but a third hypocrisy of our President was that then Senator Obama backed a filibuster by Senator Chris Dodd, when Dodd and Barney Frank blocked Bush’s efforts to push harsher regulations on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.


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